I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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