just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Congratulations! We have a period
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize