I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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