Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
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