it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
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