Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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