i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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