Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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