Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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