And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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