I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
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