careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize