You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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