last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize