Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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