Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
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Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
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I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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