is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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