just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
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i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
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STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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