So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
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She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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