how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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