just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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