hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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