So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
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Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
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I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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