wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
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If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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