census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize