he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize