the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize