I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Swine flu is the new snow day.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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