my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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