I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
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Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
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But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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