absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I'm passing your future prison.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
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Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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