Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
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Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
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Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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