I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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