I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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