Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
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i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
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As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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