We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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