You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize