he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize