It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize