Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize