he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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