that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize