dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize