What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
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the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
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I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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