i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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