Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
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she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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