capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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