is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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