She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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