you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize